


Open Season

by halzbarryscerek



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Asshole Theo, Emotional Manipulation, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Insecure Scott, M/M, Slut Derek, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-10
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-09-23 10:06:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9651107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halzbarryscerek/pseuds/halzbarryscerek
Summary: After a devastating break-up with Theo has left Scott down in the dumps, Stiles decides to surprise his best buddy with a three-day weekend getaway to Beacon Hills, a popular gay resort and hotel in Palm Springs, in hopes to help Scott get over his misery. Because the best way to get over a guy is to get under a new one, right? However, things take a turn for the worse when, as luck would have it, it turns out that Theo is also attending the same resort!In a desperate act to prove that he's completely over Theo, and to make him jealous, Scott decides to grab the first guy within arm's reach and have him pretend to be his boyfriend for the weekend. That guy turns out to be Derek Hale, a single-and-ready-to-mingle, proud manwhore looking to score through a smorgasbord of hot guys. Scott really wished that this didn't happen to him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, Earthlings! I have returned!
> 
> So, this story was meant to be a sorta inspired fic by the movie Eating Out 5: The Open Weekend (okay movie BTW but not as good as the first ones). Anyway, then the fic kind of took a mind of its own so now it's something different, only slightly similar. No matter, because I am more than happy to share this for [Scerek Valentine's Special](http://scerekevents.tumblr.com/post/156975326245/reminder-scerek-valentines-special-begins-this)!
> 
> So this is an AU that exists where Beacon Hills isn't a town, but a popular gay resort in Palm Springs. Scott and Stiles are still best friends who are college roommates.
> 
>  **Minor Relationships:** Past Scott McCall/Theo Raeken, Derek Hale/Danny Mahealani

It was no secret that Scott had been miserable ever since Theo had dumped him. Scott was always the kind of person who wore his heart on his sleeve, so he was never really known for masking his emotions.

When Theo cheated on him, he was devastated, crushed, even went through a period where he tried to make excuses for him. It hurt him so much. But, he could only blame himself for not seeing it earlier. Theo Raeken was kind of an asshole, a sentiment that Stiles never failed to utter at any given opportunity. But Scott being Scott, he wanted to see the best in people and wanted so much for Theo to be that kid he met in fourth grade again; the one he befriended when he had an asthma attack; the boy he fell in love with in senior year, with whom he lost his virginity to. He wanted that Theo back.

Him leaving the way he did, with that look of horrible disdain for Scott in his eyes, without Scott even knowing what went wrong or how he could fix it, it was like a part of Scott's soul was ripped in half and there was no way to get it back. It was gone forever. Scott was now half a person, a fraction of what he used to be. Taylor Swift could write songs about his heartbreak. He wasn't sure when or even if he would ever recover from this.

Except here he was, buckled tightly into the passenger seat of Stiles' jeep, listening to the faulty motor make funny noises while Stiles bobbed his head animatedly at Beyoncé's "Crazy In Love", a song that's too appropriately accurate for Scott's situation. His life was now a catchy dance number.

" _Got me lookin' so crazy right now, love's got me lookin' so crazy right now_ ," Stiles screamed, blissfully unaware of how awful his singing was, " _Na-na-na-na-crazy right now, and yadda-yadda-yadda crazy right now! Lookin' so crazy in love, you got me lookin' so, lookin' so crazy in love!_ "

Scott groaned, covering his ears. He shouldn't have come out here. It was too soon (four months, to be precise) and having to sit for four hours with tone-deaf Stiles banging his head to Top 40 hits was absolute torture, especially in these times of despair and misery. But, Stiles had promised Scott a weekend of fun and relaxation, so Scott reluctantly agreed.

Actually, now that Scott had time to look back on it, Stiles had already had his bag packed and put in the jeep, so Scott was basically a kidnap victim at this point.

Finally, Stiles lowered the radio enough so that they could talk. "I'm tellin' ya, Scotty, you're gonna love this trip! It's exactly what you need to get over Theo Gonorrhaeken."

"Nice," Scott snarled out, sarcastically.

"Dude, it's a three-day weekend at Beacon Hills, the hottest gay resort in California. Parties, naked dudes, alcohol, body glitter, maybe even a new kind of STD."

"I'm thrilled," Scott deadpanned, not even the slightest trace of amusement in his voice.

"It's exactly what you need," Stiles beamed, "The best way to get over a guy is to get under a new one!"

Scott could only roll his eyes as Stiles finally arrived in Palm Springs, watching the trees wave at them as they got closer to the hotel. He had seen what the place looked like on the brochure. A large row of rooms, a big, cerulean pool smack dab in the middle, a large landscape for jogging, a built-in gym and spa, and it stood next door to a hot dance club. It was a beacon for slutty gay men looking to indulge in a weekend of loose sex and no commitments, so Scott guessed that it was appropriately named.

He wasn't sure if he was ready for this kind of weekend. In retrospect, Scott has never been with any guy other than Theo and Theo was his whole life once upon a time. No guy, especially the superficial ones that would no doubt be making appearances at this resort, are going to want to go for a guy with so much baggage. It was an incredible turn-off.

Scott scrunched his face in confusion when they were coming up to the hotel before Stiles drove right past it.

"Stiles, you missed the hotel."

There was a pause, and Scott swore he heard Stiles take a small gulp. This wasn't going to be good. "O-oh, yeah, look at that. I did, didn't I?" Yep, Scott was definitely **_not_** liking where this was going. "Uhh, one thing I forgot to mention. We're not really staying at BH exactly. We're going somewhere ... much more luxurious just down the street!"

As it turned out, the 'much more luxurious' hotel was the Glen Capri Motel, a ratty looking place that looked like the ones in horror films where couples would check in and not check out.

"I hate you," Scott growled.

"Oh, come on, Scotty, I've seen worse."

" ** _Where have you seen worse?!_** "

Stiles held his hands up in defense, "Hey, hey, look, I tried getting us a room at Beacon Hills, I really did, but they were booked for, like, months! And also, **_Ididnthavethemoneytopayfortheentireweekend_**." Stiles cleared his throat. "But, lemonade out of lemons, we're here at the sunny resort that is the Glen Capri Motel! The twenty-third best reviewed hotel in Yugoslavia!"

"We're not in Yugoslavia!"

But Stiles ignored him, and instead whispered, "Just promise me that you won't drink any of the water from the tap, okay?"

There was an old lady with brittle hair and yellow teeth with flies buzzing around her at the front desk, who generously shared with them that the hotel was the number one hotel with the most successful suicide count. As if that was something to be proud of.

They checked in as quickly as possible, grabbing their key and fastly making their way to Room 213 before the receptionist shared more morbid details about their rickety-looking inn.

Stiles opened his arms proudly once they got inside, as if he wanted to bask in the fresh air of their new journey. Unfortunately, that same air was contaminated with dust and the faint smell of cigarettes.

"I'm tellin' ya, Scotty," Stiles started as he plopped his bag on the bed nearest to the door, the one Scott wanted because it was the fastest route to escape from. "This is gonna be the best vacation ever! I can feel it!"

Scott scrunched his face up in disgust when he walked by his bed. "There's a used condom in my bed."

Stiles walked over to examine the offending object, before declaring, "It's just a balloon!"

"You can still see the semen inside it."

Stiles huffed. "What is the world coming to where people just go and defile balloons in such a way?"

Scott groaned miserably before flicking the condom off with his bag and flopping over onto the bed, not even caring about the all the bacteria it clearly had. He wanted nothing more than to just lay in bed, dying, until the vacation was over. No colorful drinks, no hairless bodies covered in glitter, no sunlight, no **_nothing_**!

"How is this even gonna work anyway if we're staying here?" he whined.

"Bro, the resort is right next door. All we gotta do is cross over behind the bushes and we're there. People do it all the time!" Stiles pushed his bag aside and picked up his suitcase before letting it bounce on the bed. "And I got everything you will need for this weekend."

Scott shot his head up, curious. It was a big, red bag and Scott shuddered to think of what treasure trove of horrors Stiles had stashed within it.

"I got all these goodies from the sex shop," Stiles explained, "I didn't really know what you were into, so I bought a little bit of everything ... Actually, this may have been the reason why we could only afford a room at the Hotel of Death."

Stiles began rummaging through his suitcase, faintest bit of tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth, before he pulled out what looked to be a sleek, black, cone-shaped plug. The kind of plug that goes in a place where the sun doesn't shine.

"I'm not really sure where this is supposed to go, but I'm sure you will find out soon enough!" He continued pulling out more and more toys, as Scott could feel his breakfast rising up to make a return appearance. "Okay, we got some feathers ... this furry thing ... I don't know what you use these for..." Stiles held up a long string of large, black beads and Scott definitely knew where those went. "They make a great neck massager though."

Scott felt all of the blood rush from his face as he watched Stiles pull out actual _fucking nipple clamps!_

"These are for your nip-nips," Stiles cooed, "They look uncomfortable." He tossed them aside before making a really, creepy noise of excitement. "Check this out!"

Scott furrowed his brow, staring at what looked like a vibrator with sticks at the end of it. "What is that?"

The grin on Stiles' face grew even wider. "It's a Harry Potter vibrator!" Scott should really stop asking how things could get worse, because the universe was taking it as a challenge. "It's called the Nimbus 2000!"

"You have gotta be kidding me."

"You stick this bad boy up your poop chute and then sit back as it finds your Golden Snitch." Scott was appalled. "I'm talking about your prostate. The Golden Snitch is your prostate. Your happy switch."

Scott could feel his eye twitching.

"Or..." Stiles dug through his bag again and Scott was praying that this would end soon. "... if that's a little too small for you, you can always use ... THIS!" Stiles revealed a huge, thick white dildo. There were no words, Scott lost the ability to speak as he watched the offending object flop around like one of those inflatable arm-flailing tube guys. "I read online that the average human male can take at least twelve inches up his Grand Canal. And it glows in the dark, so it's like you're getting fucked by a lightsaber!"

What did Scott do to deserve this?

"With you, may the force be..." Stiles said in his best Yoda voice, "... **_in your ass_**."

Scott tilted his head, blinking. "What?"

A vein popped in Stiles' head, "Oh, my fucking God, Scotty! It's 2017! When are you gonna watch Star Wars already?"

"Stiles, I literally do not want any of this stuff!"

Stiles pouted. "Not even your Nimbus 2000?" That earned him a harsh glare. "Alright, fine! You don't have to use this stuff. You can just use your old one. You're lucky I packed it."

Scott tilted his head, confused. "What are you talking about?"

But his best friend rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on, dude. I know you use a vibrator. You're not exactly quiet about it in the morning back at our place. Never really pictured you as a screamer. It sounds like you're having sex with a giant bee."

Scott paled. "Oh, my God!" he cried out, humiliated.

But Stiles just shrugged his shoulders. "Hey, bro, it's all good. Everyone masturbates," he declared, and Scott wished he just left it at that, but this was Stiles and he never leaves it without more word vomit. "Hell, I choke my chicken at least three or four times a day. It's why I'm in the shower for so long."

"Dude!"

"And if you took a blacklight to our couch, I swear, it'll look like a crime scene."

"Stiles, stop!"

"I painted that sucker like it was a Jackson Pollock. And I can't even begin to tell you about the kitchen..."

Scott shot up, having heard enough. "Okay, you know what? I'm leaving for the hotel. I need a drink!"

With a wide grin, Stiles sprang up and smacked Scott's shoulder, which Scott wished he hadn't because he honestly doesn't want Stiles touching at the moment until he's had a chemical scrub.

"That's the spirit, Scotty!" Stiles shouted proudly. "Operation: Get Scott Laid and Get Over Theo is now in full effect!"


End file.
